Skinny Runner GUEST POST: In “real” time
Today’s guest post comes from Skinny Runner! I’m feelin’ a lil famous she’s on my blog for the day. I won’t lie. How’d I get such cool guest bloggers??
Enjoy 
Since a lot of things are graded on a curve or age-graded, I think it’s only far that there’s a grading system for your race times. Because sometimes the time itself doesn’t tell the whole story…
For example, if you race during “that time of the month”, you should be able to subtract nearly two minutes, 1:45 from your time. Too bad for you, men.
If you wear a white running skirt during that time, minus 4 hours. for bravery. Sure, disarming bombs and fighting fires is brave but so is wearing white.
If you’re racing in Vegas, minus :45 seconds.
If you went out the night before in Vegas, you should get a top 10 trophy just for showing up. with shoes on. And minus 4:25.
If your garmin says more than 13.11 or 26.21, you know what to do: subtract time, baby! You run the tangents perfectly; it’s the course’s fault that it’s long, not yours. Minus 3:25.
If you ate ethnic food the night, subtract 15:15. Pretty self-explanatory there…
If you aren’t looking your best, feelin’ your outfit, or just looking plain fug, minus :35. Hey, it’s a legitimate time drainer when you’re having a bad day. Brit brit knows all about this…
Some people get crazy and drink beer during the race. If you have a drink on the course or run as a beer, subtract 1:45. Dehydration is a killer so your time should be adjusted.
And the last thing that you can definitely subtract time for… lap dances during the race! Minus 3:05, those things really take up time.
So if you ran a 2:05 half marathon, once you do the proper math, you’ll find out that you really ran a 1:39:47! Congrats, a new PR!
Any excuses you can think of that you should get to subtract time for?
I think if you are a Mommy and were up with your little one in the hours before the race you should be able to subtract the # of minutes of you labor hours. So if you were in labor for 10 hours with said child you could subtract 10 minutes!!
This fortunately hasn’t happened to me but it sounds good!
YAY SR!! I like Holly’s!!
so…DITTO!! how ’bout if you ran two marathons in one month subtract 20 mins. from the 2nd marathon!! 
We need to submit these to “Runner’s World!” and start a petition!! 
Love the kid w/red hair checkin’ out the “lap dance lady” he looks like he’s considering dropping out of the race to take her up on the offer!! He’s thinkin’ “hmmmm…this running thing is pretty cool!!”
If you forgot your hairband or your hairtie broke mid-race, and you had to deal with your less-than-sexy-sweat-hair-tendrils whipping in your eyes, subtract at least :20.
Love love love SKINNY RUNNER!!!!
If there were walkers all up in your corral you should get to subtract 2 minutes.
love this! I am totally feeling the “time of the month” subtraction. I’m glad someone else is with me!
haha god that is an awful picture of britney. love her..no shame!
if you weren’t able to “go” before the race, subtract an hour for having to hold it in the whole time! Or having to drop it in a porta-potty mid-race subtract an hour and a half for sure!
Hilarious! And OMG about the lap dance lady, I would die laughing if I saw this while I was racing!
A lap dance lady?!? Who does that? hahaha